Thursday, January 22, 2015

Little Life Update

I've been starting to get a little too post happy on Instagram and Facebook, so I need to direct some energy to this blog so people don't start freaking out on me.

// Vince has torn some ligaments in his ankle and was ordered to be on complete bed rest for 5 days, then slowly become more weight bearing over the next six weeks with crutches. I've been tending to his every need, being sure to throw in a, 'Yes, your prince,' or 'Yes, my king,' when he's being a little extra demanding. (I don't like my coffee ground like that, can you do it a little finer? This meal definitely needs a little more salt. My toes are cold, can you put the blanket over it a little better?) All in all he's very appreciative of everything and is trying to be more mobile with his crutches and help out, but then I just yell at him to go lay back down because something will get dropped or spilled and I'll have to pick it up anyways. BUT, it's the thought that counts so it is nice that he is trying. Plus, he took care of me in way worse condition for many months so I can't really complain. (He wanted me to point out that I am neglecting rubbing arnica cream on his ankle in order to write this, so I'm doing a terrible job.)

It has honestly been a little blessing in disguise though because I get to spend SO MUCH TIME with my husband before school starts in a week. He was supposed to go on a ski trip to Colorado for six days (!!!) which was making me anxious, but I of course wasn't going to tell him he couldn't go because our big trip to Jackson Hole for skiing was canceled, the snow has been terrible here, and he's only been able to ski three days this year. Needless to say, I am sad he is so upset about missing his skiing, but way happy he was here! Before school started last week we were snuggling on the couch and I had the realization that it was one of the last 'real' times to spend together because then my time would be filled with nursing school and clinicals and his would be filled with work, and then very very soon a new baby! Luckily school has been slow to start, he's still not allowed to work, and we've been able to have plenty of time together. Maybe too much time.

32w5d
It's also been helpful at kicking my butt into gear. The nesting has fully kicked in and the dishes have been done after every use, our house has been very clean, fresh meals have been made multiple times a day, and I got prepared for the school year with freezer meals, meal planning, and snack lists. Everything seems to be situated for the baby (at some point I'll talk about how things are set up because we're staying in our <400 and="" any="" are="" basically="" bedroom="" carseat="" debut.="" even="" foot="" for="" her="" house="" installed="" is="" make="" one="" p="" ready="" she="" square="" the="" time="" to="" wants="" we="">

He starts physical therapy on the 30th so we'll hopefully know more about when he can start walking and what the estimated healing time will be. It would have been easier if he just fractured his ankle, it heals so much faster!

// On that note, it finally snowed about a foot here! I didn't let it deter me from my daily walk even when it was below freezing and snowing. It melted within a couple days, though, and it's back to being sunny. Today was incredibly cold though, but sadly no snow in the forecast.




And this is from our walk the day before in the woods when it was warm enough to take off my jacket and sweater.
// So much food has been eaten and I am now 166 pounds. I've never been over 150 pounds (I don't think I've ever even been 150 pounds) so it is really strange to think, 'I'm almost 170 pounds!' My arms and legs are still way skinny from the 30 pounds I lost at the beginning of my pregnancy so it's weird to look at myself and wonder where all the weight is. This puts me at 19 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, so I'm hoping my doctor will be a little more happy with me at my next appointment now that I'm getting closer to my 'goal' weight gain. It has surprisingly taken a lot of effort to eat so much, and if I skip even one meal of the day from sleeping in or being lazy, I can see a difference on the scale the next day, so it's been like a full-time job to eat healthy, filling meals! I realize I may sound like an asshole complaining about how hard it is to gain weight, but it really is stressful in it's own way, so no judgy judgy.

// Roxi has continued to be all sorts of cute and needy and knowing something is up. Her world is going to come crashing down when the baby girl arrives!

// Christmas was spent in Utah with family, and it was so great! We stopped in Vegas for a night on our way up there and ate In-N-Out (multiple double-doubles protein style and chocolate shakes) and PF Chang's, which was amazing as always, and took a short walk around. We pulled into town at sunset and it was beautiful!


30w3d
Then we were in condos with family for the next four days! There was close to 40 of us split between four condos, with the condo I was staying in being the 'main hub' for people to hangout at through the day, eat, etc. It was so great to be able to hangout with so many aunts, uncles, and cousins, even if over half of us had a cold of some sort.

From the drive home.

// Going back to school - I started last week! My plan is to just keep going until I have her, take about two weeks off classes, then keep going! I'm not allowed to miss many clinical days and have to make them up anyways, so I really don't have any choice but to continue because I don't want to take a semester off. Luckily I'll be able to pump at clinicals and even have the option to have Vince bring the baby to me to feed! Our plan is for him to do that once per clinical day so we can see each other, and then he'll just give her a bottle of pumped milk the rest of the time. One clinical is a ten hour day, the other is an 8 hour day, and class is four hours a week with a simulation lab being four hours every few weeks, so it's not really that much time away when you compare it to moms that work full-time, but it'll still be difficult! Fortunately we won't have to do daycare either because Vince will be with her both of my clinical days, and my grandparents will be with her on my class/lab day. That will definitely make it easier knowing she'll be with people who love her and will take amazing care of her! Spring break is also the middle of March so we'll just have to survive a couple weeks at most to make it to a little break.
31 weeks and all fancy for family pictures

// Other than starting school and Vince being injured, there hasn't been much happening! I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow (update coming!) so baths are a daily routine to prevent my back from tightening especially with 8 and 10 hour clinical days coming up, Hypnobabies sessions happen most days to prepare me for a natural birth, plenty of coconut oil has been rubbed on the belly, calming essential oils have been diffused, homework is being turned in early...relaxing in its own way!
34w4d

Saturday, January 3, 2015

32 weeks. EIGHT MONTHS.

How far along: 32 weeks (+1 day as of this publishing) 
32 weeks
Weight: 166 pounds. Yep, I gained 9 pounds since my 30 week update! Finally gaining that much needed weight. 19 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, up 49 pounds (!!!) after losing 30 pounds from the deathly sickness. 
30w1d
Emotions: I said to Vince the other day, "My brain and my body don't want or need to cry, but my eyes feel like they are just going to start sobbing," and I think that sums everything up. I'm just loving everything so much that my brain can't seem to handle it! Baby kicks, growing belly, teeny tiny clothes, mini cribs...


Nesting: It's happening. Clean house, walked dog, homemade meals multiple times a day, bathed self. I was able to reduce my thyroid meds yet again because the dose was too high, so it's giving me some energy back, thank the lord baby jesus.
30w2d
Sleep: I had a streak of really bad nights, waking up constantly because my hips and ribs were burning with pain. I think growing so quickly has just been rough! I added another pillow to my surroundings and had two really great nights of sleep, but last night was bad again. I'm hoping that was just a fluke. Overall though, I'm waking up feeling rested, despite waking up frequently.

Cravings: Eggplant, which I realize I've been craving pretty much the whole pregnancy because I find myself baking it constantly. Other than that, still just chocolate. And In-N-Out.
30w 4d. At the hotel in Vegas before Christmas. 
Movement: Still constant movement all. the. time., and still really large movements that look crazy. Feeling and seeing tons of hiccups multiple times through the day which is funny! Sometimes she'll also get wild in there and will either punch or kick like crazy and it looks like my belly is just vibrating. It is seriously the strangest feeling ever. 
31 weeks
Best Moment of the Week: Running barefoot in the snow! It was so fun even though it was freezing. If you don't remember from a previous post, it's a family tradition to do it during the first real snow of the year. Now I can tell baby girl she did it in utero and has no excuse! (5 second video) 
video
Looking Forward To: Getting everything set up for baby girl before school starts. We've finally settled on how and what we want in our room for her (we're in a one bedroom house, so she'll be with us) and I'm excited to finally get everything organized. We have a few things on order and are just waiting for them to get here!
31w1d
Panicking About: School, of course. It starts in about a week! Luckily my teachers are all working with me and I'm able to start on some stuff now before the semester even starts, and I'll be able to work on some quizzes and assignments earlier than they are due so that I have some free time when baby girl comes. 
31w2d
What I Miss: Rolling in bed, getting up, or putting socks/shoes on without grunting and making terrible sounds. Every time I do something, it feels like the breath is getting knocked out of me so I'll end up gasping  or making some other sound of death. There have been multiples times where Vince legitimately asked if I was ok because they were not normal sounds! Luckily I've convinced him to let me get a new pair of Birkenstock's that I don't have to buckle or tie like my current ones because it's getting increasingly impossible. I'm thinking these or these so I can also wear them to clinicals for school. 



31w4d
Milestones: Being able to say I'm over eight months pregnant feels like a milestone in and of itself. Nonchalantly throwing out, 'Ya, I shoveled yesterday at eight months pregnant,' makes me feel pretty awesome.
31w5d

Friday, December 19, 2014

30 weeks. With (some) pictures that aren't from Instagram!

29w6d
How far along: 30 weeks 
27w6d     2lb 10oz and a week ahead in growth
Weight: 157 pounds. I am now 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, so after losing 30 pounds that means I've gained 40 pounds! It's funny to explain that to people who didn't know I was so sick because they look at me like, 'Uh, there is not 40 pounds of extra weight on you.'
27w1d
Emotions: This past week I have been really emotional about getting closer to the end of pregnancy (I still have 10-ish weeks to go, so in reality I still have quite a while) and have really enjoyed being pregnant. It is still all sorts of uncomfortable, but I've been loving the routine I feel with baby girl's wild kicks right before going to bed and first thing when I wake up, seeing my belly grow and contort and be different every day as I rub oil on it, and having Vince look at me and my belly with a totally different kind of love than before. I know it'll be a whole new world of amazing when she is finally here, but I'm also loving these moments so much!
Nesting: I had my baby shower this past weekend and was hoping it would give me a bit more energy to get everything done, but it hasn't! I still have some of the motivation I mentioned at 27 weeks but I've been pretty tired the past few days and have wanted to do nothing but lay on the couch, which is what I've done. I'm mentally ready to get shit done, but not physically.
28w2d
Sleep: Still waking up frequently to go pee, but getting back to sleep right away. Luckily this is something that has not suffered very much! To update from 27 weeks, my iron levels are great but my thyroid level were off and I was taking too much of my medication so I had gone hypothyroid, which was making me exhausted. That's actually a good thing because I was able to reduce my medication! So since reducing that, I have been feeling much more awake and alert. But still lazy.

29w
Cravings: Chocolate still. I now have a chocolate milkshake or two a day with vanilla ice cream, milk, and cocoa powder and it's just what I need calorie-wise and chocolate-wise!
 Not pregnant...
Pregnant! 29w1d
29w2d
Movement: I was starting to notice a routine with her, but now that's all changed! On Monday I had an appointment with my massage/craniosacral therapist and mentioned that she was still breach. She did a couple things to encourage baby girl to move and to help her realize that she has a lot of space to move within my belly. Up until now, she has been firmly nuzzled into my left hip and has not wanted to move. She'd occasionally meander over to my right hip, but within hours would be back to my left. After seeing the therapist, though, she is not in either hip and is very much in my belly! The evening after the session and in the days that followed I've felt more movement than ever and they've been BIG movements, so I'm hoping she'll be closer to birthing position at my next ultrasound. It was really crazy to wake up Tuesday morning after the session, stand up, and feel my center of gravity had shifted drastically and they I was very front-heavy. It's been incredibly uncomfortable for me because I'm not used to carrying her this way and my stomach is really tight now, but I'm hoping it helps in the end!
29w3d The night of my session.

29w5d Two days after. I'm sure it's hard for people who aren't me to notice a difference, 
but she is now so much higher and sticking out! 
Wedding Ring On or Off: It's back on, bitchez!

Best Moment of the Week: My baby shower last Saturday! I'm surrounded by such awesome and amazing ladies and it was fun to hangout with all of them, and see friends throughout the week who weren't able to make it to the shower. So much love.

Looking Forward To: Christmas! We changed our big trip due to money and the realization that I don't want to sit in the car for long periods of time, so we'll be going to Vegas to eat a bunch of good food and see the Bodies Exhibit before heading to southern Utah for Christmas at some condos with my extended family.
29w5d
Panicking About: Keeping up with laundry once we have a baby. We haven't had a washer and dryer our entire almost six years of living here (aside from the 8 months we moved away and then moved back) so you'd think we have a system down, but nope! We let it pile up until we are out of stuff to wear. I've already noticed a huge change in my insistence to have a clean house and just do things as they need to be done (what a concept!) so I'm hoping that translates over to laundry as well and I just do it. 
29w5d Juicing!
What I Miss: Not spending a fortune on toilet paper. Ok, so it's not a fortune, but we almost go through a 12 pack a week now! Just because I pee tiny amounts each time doesn't mean I can use a tiny amount of toilet paper. 

Milestones: Appointments are now every two weeks since I'm in my last trimester! I'm not actually stoked about that because my appointments consist of my doctor asking how things are, me saying fine, them trying to tell me info I already know and them realizing I already know it, then me leaving. I know the belly checks and heart rate are important, but it still seems like such a waste of time!
We drove in a storm way early in the morning on Thursday just so my doctor 
could tell me to gain more weight. Productive use of our time!

Friday, December 5, 2014

Documenting

In today's world with Facebook, blogging, Instagram, etc., it seems like everything is documented. Not just big milestones like a baby starting to walk, but what food was eaten for breakfast and what traffic was like. Since I felt so terrible for so long I didn't 'document' anything for pretty much the first 4 or 5 months of my pregnancy and have been having some anxiety about it! Ok, anxiety may be a bit dramatic, but maybe guilty or sad?

I feel like there are so many little things that I'm already forgetting about being pregnant, and I haven't even had her yet. Did I feel kicks at 20 weeks? Or was it 21? When did I feel like I was actually getting big? When did my itchy belly start? When did my nacho cheese craving go away?

Within all of that I feel the guilt that I won't be able to share as many 'things' with my kid like it seems so many other mom's do nowadays. Have I written a single letter to my baby? No. Will I ever? Maybe one if I really feel the urge, but I have no mental capacity or desire to do that right now. But isn't that someone I should feel like I should do? It seems like every day there is another person who posts a 'Dear seventeen and a quarter month old Zachary, let me tell you just how much I love you.' But that's also when I think, 'Barf, shut up, I'm no longer reading this ridiculousness,' and I realize maybe that's not for me. Neither is a baby book with 'fill in the blank' type things because I don't like the look of half the book being typed and half hand written and I definitely wouldn't keep up with it, I have no room or energy for scrapbooking, I'm terrible at updating this blog...

So over the past couple weeks I've been trying to think about what I'll want to remember and what would be fun to pass on to my baby girl. I realized that the things I love most are the pictures I have from when I was a kid/in utero with the little tidbits of what was happening in the picture. I think I'll try and put my energy into saving some of my favorite pictures in a file so that at the end of my pregnancy I can just print one of those easy photo books, then go through and write something on each photo. As far as trying to remember all the little things, I'll settle with a plain piece of paper in a notebook for now! Also, I'm realizing that I really don't need to remember all the little things. The things that are important to me are things I'll always remember so I really just need to not worry about it.

This all seems a little crazy to write about on a blog - not documenting things? What?! I guess I'm just trying to say I'm not going to be stressed out about trying to keep up with recording everything, but I'm still going to do it to some extent because I enjoy it. But really, if my parents had 400 pictures from one day at the park with me I wouldn't want to look through them anyways.

With all that being said, I finally felt her hiccups today and I'm officially 'table belly' status! ;)

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Today, I Love...

When my stepmom was pregnant with my little brother and after she had him, she would walk and walk and walk around the neighborhood for what seemed like hours. I never understood it because even though the neighborhood can be pretty, it would get quite boring. Now that it's getting colder and it's inconvenient and difficult for me to go hike in the woods, I've taken to walking my neighborhood. And it's lovely! I think I will enjoy exploring the surrounding neighborhoods and the quietness of it now that winter is here. Tonight the roads were deserted, the pond was starting to freeze over, and I was just excited to be outside with a kicking baby in my belly and a dog that was so happy to smell everything.

Post idea from one of my favorite and most inspiring blogs, Assortment. My post is just a little wordier. ;)